so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
How naked do you want me to be?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
