I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
