my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
