I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
