Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Randomize
