She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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