Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
