we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
