is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So much rum. So many feels.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
