So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
