If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We got so high we made milksteak
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I need water and some morals
Randomize
