I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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