The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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