Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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