Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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