i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
