Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
