I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
