I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
