She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
