she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
