is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
