i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
