I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
