she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
