high people should be assigned attendants
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
