If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
