is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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