Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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