elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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