I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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