Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
