Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
