I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
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