you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
