I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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