ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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