I got chris browned last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
i now understand why vodka
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
