my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
