dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
