my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
