i can't believe i had my finger in that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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