GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
