Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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