i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
