I think I died a long time ago.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize