If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
