My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
