You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
