Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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