this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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